Letters to Miss Sir Hellsing
by Elin-Darling
Summary: A story comprised of letters to Integra Hellsing by a young girl, Paulina, who idolizes her.
1. Chapter 1

_June 29th, 1993_

_Dear Miss Sir Hellsing,_

_My name is Paulina. I'm 12...but I'll be 13 in August. You don't know me, 'cause we've never met, but I know a lil about you. You're the great lady that hunts vampires. Mum says I shouldn't write. She says you're just an "Urban myth". But I don't care. _

_I know its a little weird (did I spell that right?) for me to write you, since I'm only 12. But you're my hero. I've studied vampires for a long time. Yesterday Mr. Jevies came into Papa's shop. I'm not supposed to be in Papa's shop, because I'm so skinny and tiny, and my skirts get caught on things, and then Mum has to mend them. But I always like to be there when Mr. Jevies is, because he always brings me stories about vampires. Well, he tells me lots of stories, but the ones about vampires are my favorite. It's not that I like them or anything, but I like to not like them. Does that make sense? Anyway, Mr. Jevies came into Papa's shop and asked me if I'd ever heard about the Hellsing family. I hadn't, so he told me all about how you're a lady knight and you fight the undead. He says that you have a sword, too. I don't know anyone with a sword...most people around here only have bats and golf clubs and stuff, 'cause most folks can't afford guns. Papa has a gun, but its real old and usta belong to grampa. A gun ain't half as cool as a sword, though. _

_After Mr. Jevies left, I got to thinking. When I grow up, I want to work for you. It ain't that far off...only another 5 years. I'm pretty tough, for a girl. I have to be. I got 3 older brothers, and they don't cut me no slack at all. So maybe if I work real hard, I can come and be part of your orginizasion. You wouldn't mind, right? Because you're a girl. So you know that girls can do it. _

_Oh, by the way, I forgot to ask, an' I don't want to write the letter over, but do you know Mr. Jevies? I'm just wonderin, 'cause he seemed to know a lot about you. Mum says that he's just making it all up for me, and that I shouldn't let him yank my leg like that. But I don't think Mr. Jevies would lie. Not about this, any way. I know he'd lie sometimes "cause he once told Timmy ( my brother) that he'd seen a baboon with a blue bottom, and that's just crazy. But Mr. Jevies sure does know a lot. So if he says that you're real, than I'm gonna believe him._

_Mum's calling me now, cause I gotta help with the wash. You don't have to do the wash, do you, Miss Sir Hellsing? We have to do it by hand, because our old washing machine broke and we can't afford another one. Its okay, though, because it gives me time to think. Momma and I talk while we're washing to pass the time. We talk about all sorts of things. I told her I was gonna write you when we were doing it yesterday, and she says that I shouldn't get my hopes up, since Mr. Jevies was just repeating an urban myth. Even if you don't write back, though, I want to write you, 'cause I want to be like you. I got the address from Mr. Jevies, and the post office said it was a real place, so if it isn't Miss Sir Hellsing that's reading this, could you please reply and let me know? That way I can beat up Mr. Jevies next time he comes. It sure must be glamorous being rich. You probably even get to see the queen. Bet that's cool. I once went to London, and we saw the queen's car. We don't go to London much, since its an hour away, and Papa doesn't think we should go unless we absolutely have to. _

_Well, Mum's starting to get real upset, so I better go. I hope my writing doesn't bother you, or take up too much of your time._

_Your biggest fan,_

_Paulina Chadwell_

Integra held the letter in her hands for a moment longer, and then a faint smile crossed her lips. Wordlessly, the letter was folded back up and placed in a desk drawer, awaiting the companion letters that the 19-year-old knight hoped would follow.


	2. Chapter 2

_July 15_

_Dear Miss Sir Hellsing,_

_It's been a little over two weeks since my last letter. I've been waiting every day to see if there'd be a letter for me, but so far, no luck. Thom (my oldest brother) says its because you aren't real, but I think you're just real busy. But since you haven't written me back, I don't know- maybe you didn't get my first letter? I'm gonna write like you did, though, 'cause it would get real old to keep writing the same stuff, an' if you did get them, it would probly get annoying, too. I want you to like me, so I'm not gonna do that._

_Mr. Jevies hasn't come back to town yet. He travels a lot, an' sometimes he's gone for months. Next time he comes, though, I'm gonna ask him to tell me more stories about you._

_Oh, remember I said swords were cool? I forgot to tell you Papa usta fence. When he was my age, he lived in London with grammum and grampa an' they usta take him to fencing lessons. That was a long time ago though. Papa says he wishes he had a sword again. He says in fencing you use a foil, but he also learned how to use a sword. An' he doesn't want a bulky sword, neither. He wants a skinny one. What kind do you have? It's ok if you don't answer, I'll ask Mr. Jevies if you don't._

_Mum doesn't get why I'm writing again. I told her it's 'cause I want to. Sometimes I do things that don't make no sense at all, but I do them anyway. Mum says one day I'm gonna get myself in trouble doing it. Maybe I will, but I'll still get the experianse out of it, and Papa always says that people grow best from their experianses. My Papa's pretty smart, I think. Your Papa must have been smart too, 'cause he was in charge of your orginizasion first, right? So he had to teach you everything you know about vampires. My Papa doesn't talk about vampires at all, almost. I have to read about them on my own. I'm the expert in the family! Mum says I shouldn't put so much time into learning about them and that with my brain I should do something more "worthwhile". Oh yea, I forgot to mention, my teacher says that I'm smart for my age, an' I soak up stuff like a sponge. That's how I remember so much about vampires._

_That reminds me! School starts again in a month. I'm going to be in the 8th grade, and Mum is really proud. I always (well, mostly) get good grades. Mum says if I'm writing a letter, I should use the good grammer I learn in school, but I think I should write letters the way I talk 'cause I like it that way an' it shows more personality (my language arts teacher says writing should always show personality.) Mum's very proper in her talking. Papa always teases her and says she should have married a Lord instead of a shopkeeper. Actually, Mum really could have married a Lord 'cause her mum and papa were kinda rich, but she says she wanted to bring some class to the 'backwoods of England'. Mum's always teasing and saying stuff like that._

_Anyway, I can't think of anything else to put right now, 'cept for just some silly random stuff that don't make much of a diffrence. Papa's out chopping wood with Vincent right now. Thats my third brother's name, by the way. If Mum ever has another baby, I sure hope its a girl, 'cause I'm getting tired of having only brothers. Maybe it would be a sister who's kinda like you! But I'd have to ask Mr. Jevies if she was like you, 'cause I wouldn't really know._

_I hope everything is going good for you and that you're killing lotsa vampires to keep everyone safe._

_Your Biggest Fan,_

_Paulina Chadwell_

Although her face remained slack and seemingly emotionless, Integra's eyes danced with mirth. She had hoped for another letter, and she had gotten one, despite not replying. Deciding it was safer for the girl if she did not reply, she waited to see if another would arrive. It had.

And Integra was greatly pleased.


	3. Chapter 3

_July 29th , 1993_

_Dear Miss Sir Hellsing,_

_I really hope you're getting these. I know I should wait to get a response, but then I might wait forever, huh? Well, anyway, not much has happened lately. My brothers went fishing the other day, but I didn't want to go. Why do boys like fishing so much, anyway? What's so great about it? They did catch some fish, though. They're always so proud when they catch fish. I'd be more impressed if they'd catch a vampire, like you. Well, actually, I don't know about catching them, but you still have to hunt them. That's way more exciting than fishing. _

_Mum made ham for dinner last night. It was really good. We don't have ham that often, because it's a lot of work to cook, and since we don't raise pigs, its also a little expensive. Money's not exactly tight, but Papa doesn't like spending too much money on stuff we don't need. I always thought it was weird that he and mum grew up with extra money, and yet they both always spend as little as possible, most times. _

_I'm watching Vincent draw right now. Even though he's only a year an' a half older than me, he's real good. Mum calls him 'gifted'. He's drawing me, actually. I think that my moving all the time bothers him, 'cause he keeps scrunching up his eyebrows and scowling at me. Its turning out real nice anyway. I can see, 'cause every now and then, he sets the drawing on the table to work on it, so I see how it's turning out. He always makes sure to get the details right, right down to my freckles. He says I'm harder to draw than a lot of people, 'cause I'm always smiling, and its real hard to draw my smile, but he does it anyway. _

_What do you do for fun? Like Vincent draws, an' Mum reads, an' Papa and Thom play chess, an' Timmy..well, I'm not exactly sure what Timmy does, but I know Mum always tells him to take the slingshot outside. Oh yea, an' I look up vampire stuff. All kinds of vampire stuff. Mr. Jevies brings me books about them sometimes from exotic places like Africa an' India. See, there's all sorts of vampires out there! But you probly already knew that, since you hunt 'em. Oh, also, I bake cookies. An' brownies. I'm good at it, but I only ever get to decorate them the way I want at Halloween. I like sugar cookies best. With icing on top. LOTS of icing. Papa always laughs an' says, "Yep, she's English!"_

_Summer's almost over. I'll be going back to school in a couple of weeks. I'm kinda excited. I like school, even though it means getting up early. Mum lets me sleep in during the summer, but during the school year I can't do that. Mum says when I grow up I'll have to get up early every morning so I might as well get used to it. I don't think I want to grow up any time soon..._

_We got a letter the other day that makes Mum sad. Her brother, my uncle Mark, died. He was a soldier in Her Majesty's Navy. The letter said that he died saving one of his shipmates from drowning. Mum cried for awhile, and Thom shook his head an' said that he'd never understand why good people had to die. Know what though? I think heaven needed a hero, and God saw Uncle Mark an' decided that he'd be a good fit for the job. So I won't cry, because he's a hero in heaven now. I hope I didn't just make you sad too. Mum never likes to talk about people dying, because she says that other people only get sad, an' she says we should try not to do that to others._

_Do you ever think about heaven? It must be beautiful. I can't imagine God living somewhere that wasn't. He must want to make sure its nice for everyone else, too. I remember what Mr. Jevies said was the Hellsing motto... "In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation." That kind of makes me sad for vampires. Do you really think God doesn't let them into heaven because of what they are? What if they didn't want to become a vampire? 'Cause I read that vampires can lure people and then feed, an' the person can't resist. An' what about people who get turned into ghouls? Do they get to go to Heaven? It doesn't seem fair, if they don't. _

_Well, I think I should wrap up this letter, because I may have made you upset just now. Don't worry, I don't mean that you do a bad job, and I still want to work for you, okay? I was just wondering. But its okay if you don't agree or if you don't want to tell me what you think. _

_Still your Biggest Fan, _

_Paulina Chadwell_

Several emotions vied for dominance on Integra's face during the reading of her third letter. Joy at receiving it had turned to barely contained smiles, and then more thoughtful expressions as the letter, however unintentionally, had taken on deeper tones.

The second to last section shocked the nineteen year old. Children often saw the world differently than adults, but how could one so young think so deeply? And yet...at that age, she had been forced to think on a different level from her peers. She, too, had questioned all around her. But never had she questioned her father on one "truth"..All undead were damned eternally. What if there were those out there who, through no fault of their own, were turned into monsters? Did they deserve divine punishment for something that wasn't their fault?

Integra's mind drifted back to the pages of _Dracula. _If it were so, what of Miss Lucy? Was she denied heaven when she was released from her affliction? And Madam Mina. What would have become of her had Dracula not been defeated? It was hard to believe the beauties of heaven would be denied such pious women.

_Heaven must be beautiful..._

Integra stood and traveled to the portrait on the wall of her office. _Is it, Father? _She smiled wryly at the unresponsive face. _Is that why you had to leave me this mess so soon? Because it was so beautiful, and you just couldn't wait any longer to see it? _

_Maybe heaven needed a hero, just like she suggested, _Integra thought sadly. _I just wish they hadn't taken mine._


End file.
